Sawgat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, duplicitous crab.

Sawgat created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawgat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawgat, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Sawgat's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sawgat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo swans for they are unholy.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Sawgat loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never laugh near mites.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.