Somjabpasaffon is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, smart whale.

Somjabpasaffon created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Somjabpasaffon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Somjabpasaffon, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Somjabpasaffon's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Somjabpasaffon's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Somjabpasaffon.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Never wear scarves.