Ladyokcap is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, vain scorpion.

Ladyokcap created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladyokcap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ladyokcap, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ladyokcap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Ladyokcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Do not stand on grass.