Yarpflapcadbog is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, boastful seal.

Yarpflapcadbog created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpflapcadbog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpflapcadbog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarpflapcadbog's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yarpflapcadbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarpflapcadbog.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Yarpflapcadbog loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.