Wipomtlaggeb is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish walrus.

Wipomtlaggeb created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipomtlaggeb, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wipomtlaggeb, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wipomtlaggeb's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Wipomtlaggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away if six sheep approach from the east.

5. Wipomtlaggeb loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.
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