Govruttag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, vain goblin.

Govruttag created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govruttag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Govruttag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Govruttag's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Govruttag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.