Bathivapp is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, blissful bird.

Bathivapp created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bathivapp, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bathivapp, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bathivapp's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bathivapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bathivapp on top of all buildings.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.