Cissomtcep is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic clam.

Cissomtcep created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cissomtcep, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cissomtcep, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cissomtcep's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cissomtcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Hide from mauve nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Never hurt otters.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Cissomtcep must be the most important thing in your life.