Arptombarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate hippopotamus.

Arptombarn created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Arptombarn, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arptombarn, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Arptombarn's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Arptombarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not chop down trees.