Tal is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish hydra.

Tal created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Tal, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tal, it will turn you into a duck.

Tal's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tal's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away from mauve whales, for they are unholy.

5. Pray towards the south.