Yimjapcun Bapxinnel is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witty dragon.

Yimjapcun Bapxinnel created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Yimjapcun Bapxinnel, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yimjapcun Bapxinnel, she will turn you into a dog.

Yimjapcun Bapxinnel's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yimjapcun Bapxinnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Run away if eight snails approach from the west.

4. You must love Yimjapcun Bapxinnel.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.