Gomwappark is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, duplicitous pigeon.

Gomwappark created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomwappark, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gomwappark, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gomwappark's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gomwappark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not kill great tits.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.