Rulponflab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, almighty shark.

Rulponflab created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulponflab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rulponflab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Rulponflab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Rulponflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never mention great tits.