Baggidmifkop Zak Femyattwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain tortoise.

Baggidmifkop Zak Femyattwik created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baggidmifkop Zak Femyattwik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Baggidmifkop Zak Femyattwik, she will jump up and down on your head.

Baggidmifkop Zak Femyattwik's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Baggidmifkop Zak Femyattwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not kill cats.

4. Always treat otters with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.