Homfatfid is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, annoying dog.

Homfatfid created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Homfatfid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Homfatfid, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Homfatfid's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Homfatfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill bats.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat bark.