Bagbopgab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, slow deer.

Bagbopgab created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagbopgab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bagbopgab, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bagbopgab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bagbopgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tapirs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Never wear white stockings.