Sternuttsan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful jackal.

Sternuttsan created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Sternuttsan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sternuttsan, he will turn you into a sheep.

Sternuttsan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Sternuttsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Sternuttsan.