Bamcapflis is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tiresome scorpion.

Bamcapflis created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamcapflis, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamcapflis, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bamcapflis' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bamcapflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must never eat rice.