Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing gnu.

Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart, he will not care at all.

Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of mice.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Worship no other gods but Cubkanlarp Hotpodnart.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always help sick squirrels.