Jennartbossjop is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, boastful tortoise.

Jennartbossjop created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jennartbossjop, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jennartbossjop, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jennartbossjop's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Jennartbossjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jennartbossjop.

5. Always wear turquoise.