Bomlarpfas is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful jellyfish.

Bomlarpfas created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bomlarpfas, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bomlarpfas, it will destroy your home planet.

Bomlarpfas' most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bomlarpfas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn capybaras for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Never eat gooseberries.