Ragtifsin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring clam.

Ragtifsin created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Ragtifsin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ragtifsin, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ragtifsin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Ragtifsin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange doves for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Ragtifsin's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Run away from purple horses, for they are unholy.