Tettiwablip is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, happy cow.

Tettiwablip created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tettiwablip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tettiwablip, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tettiwablip's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tettiwablip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Ants are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Always stare at clouds.