Vednegtam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, able porpoise.

Vednegtam created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Vednegtam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vednegtam, he will destroy your home planet.

Vednegtam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vednegtam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think ill of sick badgers.

3. Never run near nematodes.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not shave your hands.