Yamnartbag Pibyakbutkargepjoptan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witty penguin.

Yamnartbag Pibyakbutkargepjoptan created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yamnartbag Pibyakbutkargepjoptan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yamnartbag Pibyakbutkargepjoptan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yamnartbag Pibyakbutkargepjoptan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Yamnartbag Pibyakbutkargepjoptan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.