Jonfodfem is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, competent giraffe.

Jonfodfem created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonfodfem, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jonfodfem, she will turn you into a sheep.

Jonfodfem's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Jonfodfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never look at black holes.