Flapyaryat Cattalgar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, idiotic coyote.

Flapyaryat Cattalgar created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Flapyaryat Cattalgar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapyaryat Cattalgar, she will turn you into a rock.

Flapyaryat Cattalgar's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Flapyaryat Cattalgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help foxes in need.