Logrenlak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless bird.

Logrenlak created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Logrenlak, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Logrenlak, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Logrenlak's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Logrenlak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Logrenlak on top of all buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.