Metbifdad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless pig.

Metbifdad created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Metbifdad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Metbifdad, it will turn you into a duck.

Metbifdad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Metbifdad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Metbifdad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Run away if three capybaras approach from the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.