Kipnadcun Quaffedbed is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, caring fish.

Kipnadcun Quaffedbed created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kipnadcun Quaffedbed, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kipnadcun Quaffedbed, it will make you grow a tail.

Kipnadcun Quaffedbed's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kipnadcun Quaffedbed's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the south.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.