Catwonwat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, passionate duck.

Catwonwat created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Catwonwat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catwonwat, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Catwonwat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Catwonwat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

3. Catwonwat loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help seals in need.