Nuttvintif is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable scorpion.

Nuttvintif created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvintif, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nuttvintif, she will ignore you.

Nuttvintif's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nuttvintif's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuttvintif.

2. Do not hurt grasshopers.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hide from mauve geese for they are unholy.