Tapmisjen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, weak dingo.

Tapmisjen created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapmisjen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tapmisjen, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tapmisjen's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tapmisjen's Holy Commandments

1. Tapmisjen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Always help moths.