Pidvintomlin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous monkey.

Pidvintomlin created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidvintomlin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pidvintomlin, he will destroy your home planet.

Pidvintomlin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Pidvintomlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Always obey Pidvintomlin's priests.

4. Always look after injured dogs.

5. You must love Pidvintomlin.