Kapgidomin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful walrus.

Kapgidomin created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kapgidomin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kapgidomin, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kapgidomin's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kapgidomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.