Siswiglit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast badger.

Siswiglit created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Siswiglit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Siswiglit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Siswiglit's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Siswiglit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sharks.

2. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Siswiglit on top of important buildings.

3. Hide if five badgers approach from the north.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Never write about amino acids.