Vancipxenhug is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, awe-inspiring shark.

Vancipxenhug created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vancipxenhug, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vancipxenhug, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vancipxenhug's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Vancipxenhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Never mention whales.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.