Zagdossgup is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, smart guinea pig.

Zagdossgup created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagdossgup, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zagdossgup, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zagdossgup's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zagdossgup's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zagdossgup.

2. Always help sick doves.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Worship no other gods but Zagdossgup.