Cetbodzig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, sapient dolphin.

Cetbodzig created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbodzig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cetbodzig, he will laugh at you.

Cetbodzig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cetbodzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Cetbodzig.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Cetbodzig must be the most important thing in your life.