Safvintim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, vain dryad.

Safvintim created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safvintim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Safvintim, she will cry a lot.

Safvintim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Safvintim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away from turquoise rats, for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not commit murder.