Tunfenmat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, prudent snail.

Tunfenmat created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tunfenmat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tunfenmat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tunfenmat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tunfenmat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four otters approach from the east.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tunfenmat on top of all buildings.

4. Worship no other gods but Tunfenmat.

5. Do not make images of living things.