Metsakjop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic dryad.

Metsakjop created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metsakjop, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Metsakjop, it will turn you into a snail.

Metsakjop's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Metsakjop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Metsakjop seven times a day.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Metsakjop.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never jump near capybaras.