Fagzimsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, blissful turtle.

Fagzimsaf created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagzimsaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fagzimsaf, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Fagzimsaf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fagzimsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not take Fagzimsaf's name in vain.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.