Joncebing is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish beaver.

Joncebing created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Joncebing, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Joncebing, she will turn you into a sheep.

Joncebing's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Joncebing's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about great tits.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.