Quatcummet is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, slow beaver.

Quatcummet created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatcummet, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quatcummet, he will not care.

Quatcummet's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quatcummet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.