Zanrutparkjigyarlkamdimcib is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful naga.

Zanrutparkjigyarlkamdimcib created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanrutparkjigyarlkamdimcib, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanrutparkjigyarlkamdimcib, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zanrutparkjigyarlkamdimcib's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Zanrutparkjigyarlkamdimcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.