Vadappkan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fussy warg.

Vadappkan created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Vadappkan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vadappkan, he will turn you into a mole.

Vadappkan's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Vadappkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Worship no other gods but Vadappkan.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vadappkan.