Pangbesshad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish hedgehog.

Pangbesshad created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangbesshad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pangbesshad, he will be very unhappy.

Pangbesshad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pangbesshad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away from white great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.