Dotbappib is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, contented grasshopper.

Dotbappib created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotbappib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dotbappib, she will not care at all.

Dotbappib's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dotbappib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.