Rigvanzakbim Fasfarhak is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, resourceful clam.

Rigvanzakbim Fasfarhak created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigvanzakbim Fasfarhak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rigvanzakbim Fasfarhak, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rigvanzakbim Fasfarhak's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Rigvanzakbim Fasfarhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never feed corn to snails while wearing purple ear rings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not kill tapirs.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.